Kerala

Kerala will always be home. It is a tiny strip of land in South India. It has beautiful beaches and much greenery. In the warmth of Kerala, the rain was always something to look forward to. I remember nights when I was anxious and miserable. Though my window and door were closed, I could hear the spattering of rain on the roads. I would open the window and turn off the lights and fan and magically fall asleep to the rhythm of rainfall. There was nothing more comforting than listening to rainfall. During the day, my idea of contentment was reading a book on the balcony with a tea by my side while it is raining outside. I could stare at rain all day. But, the rain in Kerala was special and it still is. I love sitting in the ‘ordinary’, an ancient and creaking bus, while it was raining cats and dogs outside. The rush to open the umbrella hoping not to get drenched as soon as I got out of the bus is still a relishing memory. When you are back home, you complain about how wet and rainy outside is, but you could not give it up for the world.

I could speak volumes about the food and it will never be enough. Whenever I used to go back to Kerala from college, I would ask my mom to make appam for me. The next morning breakfast is always puttu and kadala. I have travelled to a few places but nothing has ever come close. The bite of the chilly, the coconut pieces that get stuck in my teeth and the sight of the puttu clumping together with the kadala curry are exquisite. And more than anything, the love with which Malayalis eat the very ordinary fish and rice…I used to come from school and see my grandmother gobble down fish and rice as if it is the tastiest food in the world. I never understood why. I was bored with the good old. Now, miles away from Kerala, it makes sense.

The idealism of Malayalis never ceases to amaze me. We still think the world could be fair and just. We never tire of hartals and political criticism. Cynical and skeptical now, I see the charm of idealism and I wish I could get it back. Idealism may not be futile too. Malayalam cinema has seen its ups and downs. When I was growing up, we were churning out shit movies. Now, again, we are celebrating high quality movies. People go in masses to a cinema to watch movies like “Thondimuthalum Driksakshiyum”. We do not need propaganda to celebrate our culture. We don’t mind seeing hairy or non-six-pack heroes. We don’t mind seeing heroines without makeup. We still religiously watch “Manichithrathazhu” when it comes on TV, a thousand times still finding it funny and still thrilled by the twists and turns.

I have read authors from around the world, I have seen movies around the world, listened to a variety of music. What is it about Kamala Suraiyya that inspires me so much? What is it about Malayalam movies that I can’t look away from? I am no minority. Most Malayalis are like that. We are open to other cultures too. We eat chappathi daily now. We watch Tamil and Hindi movies. We welcome the outside while passionately loving what are ours. We are not insecure about our beautiful language and we don’t doubt our neighbours.

Yet, we are our harshest critics. May be that is the difference. Despite everything I love about Kerala, I see its vices. I see the people are no different, weak and hypocritical like everyone else. We are sexist and patriarchal. We are homophobic and xenophobic. Yet, we do not look away and blame others. We criticise each other and oust our government every term. We celebrate our culture and tries to fix it too. May be it is because we still have not found a scapegoat yet to dump all our problems to. The rain washes away our mistakes and gives us room to build a better society. We go outside, explore and bring better things.

It is the society I want to belong to because I see hope. I see young Malayalis never giving upon a better Kerala without hating it but loving it despites its flaws and imperfections. We celebrate our little milestones with much joy and next day, we are back to our tiny rebellions. Travelling miles away from home, I realise what makes Kerala special for me. We are never content but we love and find joy despite that.

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