Why Pressure Matters

If my memory serves me right, the only events I recalled as a child was from when I started kindergarten. My school was a few blocks from home and I would bring my Nickelodeon lunch box with my favorite chicken nuggets inside. I liked school because it felt easy for me — we’ll just color inside the objects, build blocks, write whatever we want, watch videos (like Veggietales), and do SIMPLE math. After these, I would go home and enjoy the rest of my afternoon playing on my own or with my cousin.

When I reached grade school, I was consistently in the honor roll and I participated in quiz bees, spelling bees, declamation contests, singing contests, and even dance contests! From there, my confidence spiked a little and thought to myself, “I didn’t know I was capable of these things!” Still, I never felt an inch of pressure in any of these as I found them easy.

In high school, things have changed a little — I still have lots of interests but I was easily pulled back by the feeling of inadequacy. This was the first time I felt like I wasn’t good with anything, or that I don’t particularly know what I’m good at. Others are in choir, some in our school paper, athletics representing our school in sports games, and many more.

Fast forward to the first week of my university life, I was nothing but intimidated with my new classmates since they were good public speakers, and they knew more about the topics in class. This was the first pressure I felt — I realized that I needed to work extra hard because I thought that intimidation threatened me. I reflected all my past achievements and I didn’t see anything notable. None of them were even stories worth telling in college.

My grades were average in uni; however, they started growing higher when we tackled the core subjects of our course during my third and fourth year. Fortunately, I got a GPA equivalent of 3.3 as my final grade in uni.

I would divide my uni life into two: the first two years where I was doing what was only required, and the last two years where I actually stepped outside of my comfort zone. I joined student organizations, wrote for publications, joined an essay competition, and became more participative in class activities. This was the second time I felt pressured because I felt like time was passing me by too fast.

As I started working, most of my peers in college would go to law school or continue their master’s degree of the same field. I started as a researcher in my first job with a very low pay. My work was demanding but I never complained. This was the exact same time when my former peers were posting their achievements on social media — some getting scholarships, some passing the exams in one of the premiere law schools in the country, and some getting their papers accepted for symposiums and educational conferences. My motivation started to dwindle and I knew for a fact that this was the wrong time for it.

I am currently on my third phase of pressure. However, I love my current job even though it’s quite demanding. This pressure I’m feeling now is fueled by something bigger, and it’s not because of the people surrounding me. I found my cycle:

I’ll find my interests, jump into them and find what I do easy, then dispose of the difficult parts. Now what’s left off are half-baked skills and less motivation.

To change that, I needed to add pressure. Pressure pushes me to go beyond. Pressure changes my perspective of my current surroundings. Pressure gets me up and forces me do actually do something. Pressure unleashes the best of what I do spontaneously, in no specific date. Pressure pushes me past my goals. Pressure puts me away from the pedestal. Pressure allows me to dream bigger.

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