The Importance of Owning Your Identity

Why it takes so long to forget your social programming, and how it can change your life if you do

Later in life you start to become more comfortable shedding your social programming, you can begin to own your identity. This is the version of you that you prefer. Not the one that matches other people’s expectations of you.

Stop for a second, think about some of the habits you have picked up from your family. Something your mother does that you do as well, something your father says that you now say too. Some ‘lingo’ you have picked up at work that no one else understands.

This is social programming that has become entrained in your sub-conscious. The same thing happens within the culture of your upbringing. I am not talking about race; I am talking about the social norms of your group. This is the culture of your group, the culture of your upbringing. This is the culture you, in some way, conform too. This is YOUR social programming and it has been impressed on your identity.

There comes a point in your life where you may realise that you no longer identify with those norms. You may rebel against them for a period, often during this phase, you realise that you don’t resonate with either the norms you are surrounded by, or the edges you have pushed towards during this rebellion.

I’ll let you know why it is so hard to move past it, and how it can change your life if you can.

You have all heard of Pavlov, right? The guy who worked out how to get dogs to slobber. I can validate that it isn’t that difficult to get them started, but it is harder for you to do it with just a bell. Pavlov created a norm for the group of dogs, that when the bell rang, the food was coming. He programmed this outcome by creating the expectation amongst the tribe.

We have similarly been programmed by media and news outlets; we have been conditioned on the importance of status, money, appearance, power and ethics. This is one of the reasons I choose to no longer watch the news, I do read the news online, but I choose what I consume in that case. I am so, so tired of the fear and inadequacy fostered through these means.

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