How to Fix the Holiday Work Imbalance

Eve Rodsky helps gameplan the holidays, from partners to extended family

Eve Rodsky: We know that in cisgender heterosexual relationships, women take on two thirds of what it takes to run a home and family during the year. But what I found in my research is that women are still taking more than their fair share of this domestic load during the holiday season. I call it the “holiday hands.”

Fair Play is a metaphor based on how many cards you’re holding. What happens when your hand gets so full that you’re falling over? With the holidays, the big and small details to keep this spirit of magic alive for your children can feel endless, and it’s really time consuming. There’s also a lot of conception and planning — and there are a lot of partners who help on the execution. But the behind-the-scenes prep and planning that go into the holiday season is completely overwhelming.

First, let me say: You have to play the holidays; don’t let the holidays play you. “Holiday hands” are the cards that my interviewees identified as being extra stressful during the holidays. When I was wrapping up interviews for Fair Play last…

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written 8 years ago; seems immemorial. “State of Cipher” is published by Anvesh Mishra.